I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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