i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We have started to decorate penises.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
