By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You are the jesus of drinking
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
