what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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