you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
