She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He passed out mid-signature
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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