at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
