problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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