My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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