its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we're making bets on your personal life
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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