He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
