he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
