we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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