FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
