I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He felt like a one man threesome
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
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If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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