Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize