Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
