hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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