We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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