Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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