First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
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Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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