I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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