I cut my penus on the lid.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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