Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
