Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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