ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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