My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
