did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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