My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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