she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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