tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
