I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Randomize
