dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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