she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no, he came in my armpit
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize