Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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