playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
