Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need to sanitize my soul.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
