I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
