On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
