Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize