i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
