i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
