Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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