she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
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Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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