Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
