A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
