His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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