There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize