They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
