Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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