i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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