Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
