But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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