I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
