I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
