she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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