Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
